My name is Samantha Trago, and my husband Jeff and I will be married for 4 years on May 1. Jeff and I are high school sweethearts and have been together a total of 11 years!! When young couples date in high school, they think, “I’m going to love this person forever!! We’re going to get married, buy a house, have kids and live happily ever after.” And that dream actually came true for me… All of it except being able to have children. Right after Jeff and I were married, we decided, why wait to have children?! We were 24 and have been together for 7 years already, went through all the ups and downs of growing up, becoming financially responsible, and we we’re ready to make the biggest commitment anyone on this Earth could make… the commitment of being called Mom and Dad. I had been on the pill for 10 years for painful cycles, and figured it would take a few months for anything to happen. Then those few months passed, and there was nothing. In October of 2010, I decided to go to the OB/GYN, knowing there had to be some kind of science behind getting pregnant. I was told to keep a basal measurement chart, and “do the deed” every other day between days 10 and 20 of my cycle. That way I was sure of catching the day I OVULATED. Ovulation kit, basal temperature, cycle days… when did it start? When did it end? What exactly is a cervix? They want me to do what….? Sit upside down for 20 minutes?! After months of doing this, it became less fun, and more of a chore. Who would ever think a year after marrying the man of their dreams, that having sex would become so…. annoying? So after 3 months of nothing, again, my doctor wanted to do some testing. The testing she described would be painful, and in that moment I said, “Let’s test my husband first. His test will be easy and maybe the answer is simple!” I was thinking, maybe some low hormones. Well, we had Jeff tested, and the doctor called back saying that they think the test was done wrong. Or tampered with. How could a test like that possibly be done wrong? So, he did his thing in a cup, again, and the test results were… nothing. There were no sperm showing. Not a low count, not a few…. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. At this point we were sent to a urologist. The urologist checked out Jeff and concluded that Jeff had a varicocele. They suggested surgery to cut off the varicocele, hoping it would “unblock” anything that would be obstructing his sperm. The surgery was in April of 2012. After the surgery, and 2 more tests, there were still no sperm. In the mean time, I was dealing with excruciating monthly cycle pain. I figured it was normal at this point, and tried to ignore it. In December of 2012, we decided to start seeing a fertility specialist. He asked us what seemed like hundreds of questions, not just about us, but about our family members and our extended family members. He explained that they were going to do a lot of testing which included checking out our genes and chromosomes. At this point, we knew things were about to get expensive. Our insurance would cover all the testing, but would NOT cover any fertility treatments. The following February, Jeff had 9 vials of blood taken and I had 14. It was a task, but we got through it together(Jeff is not good with needles)!! They also ordered for me to get an HSG, which is where they take needles and shoot dye through the fallopian tubes and take and xray to see if they are open. Well, my tubes are open! And all of my blood work came back fine. But then we got to Jeff’s results. It turns out, Jeff had a gene deletion of chromosome Y. If you can remember back to biology class, a female has 2 X chromosomes and a male has an X and a Y. Part of his Y is missing and that so happens to be the part that he needs to procreate. This…. was devastating. I can deal with something being wrong, that can be fixed. But with this, there is no medication, no surgery, no therapy that will make him better. And so comes the question. Why us?

I can’t tell you how many people ask, “When are you having kids? Why don’t you have children? Are you pregnant?” Or how many people tell us, “You guys would make GREAT parents!” I’ve also had a lot of insensitive comments. It’s hard to hear that someone you know, a friend or family member, is expecting. Especially when it is not planned. How can it happen SO easily for them, and not for us? When we’ve tried and PRAYED so hard to have a child?? How can God allow drug addicts, teenagers, people who just are not ready to have children……. and not me? Am I not worthy? Yes, this is a question I’ve asked. I’ve asked God many questions, and it gets to the question, “Why am I here?” When you know deep in your soul that you were put on this Earth to be a mother, and it just isn’t happening, you really start to question your existence. But I am reminded that I am still young and early in child bearing years. He has a plan for me, and although it may not be happening right this second, I still have time.

Jeff and I started to discuss what the next best thing would be for OUR family. Adoption is WAY too expensive. If we ultimately have to go that route, we will after we’ve exhausted all other options. The next option was to use donor sperm and artificial insemination. To search for a donor, we used Fairfax Cryobank. You can choose your donor by race, height, religion, college degree OR by using FaceMatch. Which is what we used. We took a picture of Jeff and it took his features and matched it to someone on their database. It came up with donor 4210. One vial of 4210 cost just about $800. And the actual artificial insemination process cost $200, with an extra $200 storage fee. So the first round cost about $1200. This was done in April of 2013. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.

I was still dealing with very intense cramps every month and called my fertility doctor. I told him, if we were going to keep trying, I need something to relieve me of this incredible pain in between treatments. They said there was nothing they could prescribe me without checking to see if I had endometriosis. The only way to do this was laparoscopy surgery. I had to do it. I just could not take it anymore. So in Septemeber 2013, I had the laparoscopy. It showed that I have endometriosis, Stage 2. At this point, the doctor was able to prescribe me pain medication for that time of the month.

In November of 2013, we decided to try and give the artificial insemination another shot. Unfortunately, that time didn’t work either. That cost was another $1000. We also had my laparoscopy bills on top of that.

Now we’re at the fork in the road where we can choose to try fertility drugs. This will increase my chances of getting pregnant, but also the chance of having multiples. Honestly, I will take anything God decides to bless me with! With the drugs, there is a lot more testing involved. This alone will cost $2000. Plus, we need to purchase the specimen vial, which is anywhere between $600-$800. This is why we are reaching out to friends and family. We are not the type of people to ask for help. We are actually the complete opposite. We will help anyone who has a need and offer our time, money, thoughts and prayers. And this is why it is so hard for us to ask for it in return. We are now realizing that WE NEED HELP!!! And it’s ok to ask for help. Becoming parents means the world… EVERYTHING, to us. We love each other so much and we just feel that this is what we are here to do. To love and raise a child, that will hopefully change the world. He/she will definitely change OUR world. If you’ve had your heart strings tugged at all by reading this, please…. feel free to donate, or at least send me an encouraging message. Just knowing that people care, and are here for us, lets me know that everything will be ok. And I know that one day, no matter what, when or how, we will become parents.