Is Military School the Answer?

Guest Post. All opinions are mine and mine alone.

Is Military School the Answer? First, What’s the Question?

Being a parent is a joy and sometimes a trial at the same time. Especially when you’ve got a teenager who’s been going through a rough patch and testing every boundary there is. He’s getting failing grades, being disruptive in class, and making life a misery for the whole family at home. Whether the behavior is caused by rampaging hormones, a mood or social disorder, ADD/ADHD, an addiction, or other challenges, it’s gotten to the crisis point and you can’t handle it alone anymore.

It used to be that this would be the time to send Junior off to military school to straighten him out. That leaves many of us to wonder, what is military school like? If you can believe what you see in the movies, cold showers, rigorous schedules, and strict discipline are supposed to turn a troubled kid into a man by sheer will. And not only that, but he’ll come out with shoulders squared, thanking you heartily as he heads off into a purpose-filled future.

But in fact, a military school is not designed to deal with the sometimes very serious underlying issues that can cause a troubled teen’s behavior issues. Rather, a legitimate military school is college prep for students who are interested in a career in the Armed Forces. In the best of cases, a boy sent there for “straightening out” would get some benefit from the ordeal; in the worst of cases, military school might even be dangerous for him.

What Are the Limitations of Military School?

Military school doesn’t provide drug or alcohol rehab. In fact, the admission process at a military school typically requires information about prior substance abuse, and a student will generally not be accepted if he has not already successfully gone through a rehabilitation program provided by professionals experienced in treating addiction.

Military schools are not equipped to handle the complexities of recovery from drug and alcohol abuse.

Military school doesn’t offer behavior modification. Rules are strict and discipline is enforced, but military school is not designed to reform negative behavior. Whether a troubled teen is belligerent and defiant, or unmotivated and lazy, he is not going to be “whipped into shape” by drillmasters.

They don’t have the time or desire to deal with students who are enrolled against their wills and are disinterested in going by the book. Without supportive therapy designed to get at the root of a boy’s behavior, it’s likely he is only going to respond by acting out and and retreating into old patterns.

Military school is not a “time out” for the family. A troubled teen can certainly disrupt home life and make things difficult for siblings, but he’s still part of the family wherever he is. Just putting distance between you for a breather may seem like a sensible idea when you are exhausted from the fight and clutching at straws, but it doesn’t resolve the core problem and can create lasting resentment.

Military school isn’t set up to provide family counseling.

So What Can You Do?

What’s the alternative to military school for a troubled teen? The answer is one of the therapeutic residential facilities across the country staffed by licensed therapists, caring teachers, and trained youth supervisors experienced in guiding teens who are dealing with behavioral and other problems. Specialists at these facilities are also skilled at working with teens who have learning disabilities or neurological and psychological disorders.

At a therapeutic boarding school, teens receive counseling targeted toward their specific needs as well as a full course of academics, sports, and creative activities. They room and participate in activities with other kids facing similar challenges, and learn the important interpersonal skills of compassion and empathy.

They have dorm duties and chores, too, that encourage cooperation and develop a sense of responsibility for their own actions. There are rules and consequences for misbehaving, of course, but the over-riding principle is to teach conflict resolution and help teens solve problems on their own.

In a setting away from the triggers of old behavior patterns, teens explore new aspects of themselves and gain the confidence that will propel them into making the kinds of good choices necessary for a successful entry into adult life.

The family is included, too, with regularly scheduled visits and counseling sessions that help everyone resolve what have been perhaps long-standing issues and set them on the path to a happier future. To learn more abut therapeutic boarding schools, you can read a bit here.