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Breakups can be really, really tough. Essentially you’re grieving the loss of someone that’s still alive, and whether you were the one to call it quits or the other person was, you’re always going to feel upset knowing that a future you once imagined for yourself no longer exists. If you’ve been in a relationship for many years, you might feel like you no longer know who you are or how to do the basic tasks that your partner took care of. It can be upsetting, scary and a rough ride emotionally. But as with anything, there are always silver linings. Sometimes things really do fall apart so that better things can fall together. In the future, you’ll look back at this time knowing that it was a catalyst for better things happening for you, it’s just that right now and while you’re drowning in the feelings of it all, you cant see the bigger picture. If you’re in the midst of dealing with a breakup, here are some of the ways you can help yourself heal emotionally.
Give Yourself Time
It’s important to understand what a breakup is- it’s a grieving process. Just because there’s no death involved doesnt mean that you’re not grieving a loss, in many cases you’ll never see your partner again and even if you do, you have to process that the connection you once had is now very much changed. So allow yourself time to feel and work through the emotions, don’t berate yourself or feel like you’re being ‘silly’. Don’t feel guilty that you’re struggling and dont be surprised that you’re taking it harder than you thought you would. As impossible as it feels right now, time helps. It takes time to work through all of the thoughts and emotions you have, to heal and to move on. Know that the pain does start to fade but it’s not something that will happen overnight, so the gift of time, patience and understanding with yourself is the greatest thing you can do.
Surround Yourself with Supportive Friends
During times of heartbreak, the support of friends can be such a lifeline. Reach out to those who care about you and let them be there for you. Sometimes, just having someone to listen can make a world of difference. Plan outings, movie nights, or even simple coffee dates with your friends. Surrounding yourself with positive and caring people can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation. While it’s natural to want to isolate yourself, remember that your friends want to be there for you then be sure to let them.
Rediscover Forgotten Hobbies
Remember those activities that used to light up your life before your relationship? Maybe once you became part of a partnership, your time and energy was spent doing things together and you might have lost important parts of yourself. After a breakup is the perfect time to rediscover hobbies, it can help you to relax, take your mind of things and also help you to remember who you are. Lots of hobbies are great for mental or physical health (or both) so are fantastic coping mechanisms.
Rebuild Your Confidence
Breakups can sometimes cause our self-esteem to take a hit. If there has been any kind of cheating or betrayal involved, or arguments at the end have lead to your partner saying hurtful things about you then it’s easy to really take these to heart. Rebuilding self esteem is an important part of the healing process, as when you feel happy and confident you’re more likely to get back out there and deal with whatever life throws at you. Maybe you could go to a salon and get pampered with a new haircut, visit a cosmetic dentist for teeth whitening or try out a new style and get some new clothes that make you feel great. Don’t consider it as a ‘revenge glowup’- instead, make it all about you. It should be about you feeling happy and confident.
Fill your Future With Plans and Dreams
One of the hardest parts about dealing with a breakup is thinking about a future you dreamt up that will now no longer happen. But just because things wont happen the way you thought with that person doesnt mean things wont still be amazing for you! Make short and long term plans to make your life the best it can be. From planning holidays to studying, starting that business idea you’ve had on the backburner for years to eventually meeting new people once your heart is healed enough. This can be an exciting part of the journey as your’re no longer struggling with heartbreak and generally feel like the best version of yourself ready to move forward. Take the lessons you learned and move forward knowing that you’re a more experienced person who knows what they do and don’t want!
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